Porcuponics

Back from the dead, to eat your head!

2007-06-20T18:46:00.000-07:00

The funniest thing happened to me yesterday: I woke up and realized that we had forgotten to podcast for six months. Oops!

So, um....yeah. What's been going on?

Episode 49

Yes! There IS a new show!

2007-01-02T04:55:00.000-08:00

But I can't get the damn thing up! I swear, every time I try to use this thing, something crashes or refuses to open and I have to ask Tom to spend 2 hours of his free time to get the friggin' thing up!

No wonder I quit podcasting.

Introducing my friend Phineas

2006-12-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to stop by for a second and tell you about my friend Phineas who just started a new blog.

http://phineastouringa.blogspot.com/

Now, back to porcuponics!

6th day of Porcuponics

2006-12-18T07:26:00.000-08:00

Listen to the Christmas themed, seemingly endless, stream of conciousness musical stylings of your favorite porcuponster until she becomes your most hated foe here or do yourself a favor and listen to the link that doesn't work here

Fifth day of Christmas

2006-12-18T05:27:00.000-08:00

Hey, hey hey! It's another day and Porcuponics is back again with episode 5 of our 12 part series. This fine day, we have special co-host Amanda from dottypolkaface.blogspot.com and a special Christmas story from my mom.

Download and enjoy some ear Christmas candyHERE!

Fourth Day of Christmas

2006-12-16T06:28:00.000-08:00

So we didn't get it out yesterday. SUE US! Just download the podcast!

The third day of Porcuponics is like....soooooo cool!

2006-12-14T19:41:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to lose track of what day it is. Third day, Thursday, the 14th, etc. etc. My stars!

Well, at this point in the conversation, you might as well download the Third Day of Porcuponics!

second day of christmas

2006-12-14T05:28:00.000-08:00

Laura and Mommy make an effort to entertain while Daddy takes a flu break.

Check out two turtle dumbs today!

12 Days of Porcuponics: Day One

2006-12-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

Even though you thought we fell in a hole, we're back with twelve days of Porcuponics shows for Christmas!

Egg THIS nog!

Porcuponics Halloween Special!!!

2006-10-31T05:04:00.000-08:00

Hey porcuponsters!!
I couldn't let my favorite holiday pass without a little gory bloodfest.
Click the link below and sink your teeth into:

The Porcuponics 10 minute Halloween special!

The Greatest Forum Post EVAR!1!!!!!!1111!!

2006-08-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

For months now, the scientists at Porcponics Labs have worked to distill the essence of internet forum posting into one perfect composite nugget of message forum stupidness. We believe we have done it. And so it is with great pride that we present to you

The Greatest Forum Post EVAR!1!!!!!!1111!!

-----------------------------------------------------------
Posted by DArkLOrdS3phr0th
Jedi Master
Posts: 1556387
Joined Jun 1999

Fri August 25, 2006 1:03 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Re: Re: READY THE PITCHFORKS---LUCAS DESTROYING OUR CHILDHOOD AGAIN

You all know me, DArkLOrdS3phr0th, and I figured quite a few of you naves have held off on making a judgement call re: the new OT Star Wars DVD releases until I weighed in on the subject. Well folks, buckle up, because it's going to be a bumpy ride.... Am I excited or not about this development? Yes....and no......•sighs• •takes deep breath•

Let me start with a little personal background. I am not an old man by any means. But in my nearly 21 years, I've developed what you might call a sage's perspective on the Star Wars Original Trilogy. There are certain, unalienable tenets of the OT that must be adhered to for the flicks to have any cultural relevancy whatsoever. And most of you agree that I have perhaps the definitive handle on those traits which make SW what it is. Those commandments are as follows:

1.) Han shoots first. End of discussion. This is, and will for ever be the most important point when it comes to comparing the OT with Lucas's bastard offspring SEs. As they have before, my critics will come at me again, tearing down my arguments because I can't "get over the greedo thing" or I need to "get a life". Folks, the entire OT hero construct rests on the fact that Solo is a badass. Period. Haters need to get over the fact that the OT is dark...maybe darker that many of you want to admit. This is a dangerous place, and no amount of preschool-coddling CGI will change that fact. (As an aside, I must admit that this issue really hits home for me in a personal way. In junior high school I was faced with a very similar situation in which I was man enough to strike first at a bully and was generally successful at fending him off for a while. So I think I have a pretty good handle on the Solo character and what makes him tick. Those who know me also say Han and I share a rogue-ish quality considered attractive by ladies)

2.) The SW universe is a dirty place. Lucas and his Photoshop happy CG monkeys have turned what was a gritty and realistic wasteland into Six Flags for cripe's sake. RESPECT THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND WORK OF THE ORIGINAL TECHNICIANS. Do I really need to keep on this? (And while I'm complaining, what's up with Lucas dumping the old laserdisc masters onto a dvd and calling it a day? Surely in his piles of millions he can find a few bucks to scrub the dirt off the transfer and maybe take out a matte line or two. Is that too much to ask? Oh, that's right. I forgot. I have spent my life defending the OT against all attackers but since I am just a "fanboy" my opinion doesn't count. Also, why no 5.1 mix? Laziness and greed, friends.)

3.) Lapti Nek. Ab queck zenick fesi/Jup col im in na hiz jal, ooh. If you don't know what that means, why are you reading this forum?

Look, this isn't rocket science. Give us what we want. The originals, as they appeared in theaters, without your revisionist bullstuff.

That being said, will I be at Wal-Mart at 12:01 to buy the OT DVDs? Yes. Will they be definitive? Until Lucas finally gets off his a$$ and delivers the OT on HD-DVD, I guess. How long do we have to wait for that one, George?

And now, having cleared this up, this discussion is over. I will fade into the background and watch how this thread evolves from here. Hopefully, many of you will read and really THINK about what I am saying here and we can avoid rehashing this issue in the future.

EXCELSIOR!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A HANDY GUIDE FOR FANBOYS:
ST<--SW<--LOTR
WII<--X360<--PS3<--MY UBER ATHLON RIG!
FIREFLY<--SERENITY<--BUFFY....OLD SKOOL WHEDON FTW!!!!!!!!!!

Porcuponics Video Special: UP and ATOM!

2006-08-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

Check out our radioactive boat trip with Uncle Harry and the gang!

Birthday Girl

2006-08-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

Today is Melissa's birthday! Feel free to leave some well wishes!

Episode 47

2006-07-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

Doctor Melissa (grrrrrr...) shares a tale or two (grrrrr...) about akward, naked (bark, bark) workplace encounters (grrrrr...) while Tom scores one for (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...) the home team during a digital (bark, grrrrrrr....) livestock relocation adventure!

Zelda makes a brief cameo.
Download old school summer slam here!

Episode 46

2006-07-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

Happy 3rd of July, muckafos! We finally figured out a way to distract the retarded guard at Ourmedia and then sprinted past him at high speed, diving through the plateglass windows of the Internet Archive and finally landing in a super cool action movie roll-pose to deliver you this two fisted gun barrel of internet mp3 justice.

Download Episode 46 or die in a blaze of hot lead!

p.s. this episode is rated PG-13 for some language and nonstop mild peril.

temporary setback...

2006-07-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends!
We have a piping hot new show to ship to you as soon as our server stops treating us like children. Everytime I try to upload our file, it gives me that silent "I'm not going to say anything for awhile and look pained that you asked me that so you think I'm giving serious thought to your request...that way it doesn't seem completely unreasonable when I say 'no' then suggest you go play with your brother" treatment for about 10 minutes then I get one of the following responses:
"select a valid file"
"an error has occurred"
"clean your room"
"ask your father"

...ugh...at least I don't have to go play hide-and-seek with Captain Poor Sport.

A Special Message

2006-06-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

We had hits from Japan! That's so cool! Now listen to this

We're still alive.

2006-06-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

We've been working on some material for the next show and we'll get it out as soon as possible, or at least as soon as we feel like it. Cheers!

Episode 45 - Do you speak Jazz?

2006-06-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

In this episode we channel a Spanasian talk show, a public radio personality, and exploit Tom's irrefutable knack for creating songs that kill healthy brain tissue.

Grab your noise-canceling headphones, a helmet, a mouth guard, and your dog's seizure medication and plug in to death by garageband

Episode 44: Spelling Sucks!

2006-06-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

Porcuponics is back in the saddle with Episode 44: Spelling Sucks! Why did we call it Spelling Sucks? Cause Spellling Sucks!

Time to get out a marker and write Spelling Sucks on the t-shirt of the dude sitting in front of you!

Or, you could just download Episode 44: Spelling Sucks!

Episode 43 - goin' it solo

2006-05-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a month so y'all deserve a little something special!
I'll let you know when we come up with something.
In the interim, please download my solo attempt at filling the void.
If you don't laugh aloud at the content contained within, you're sure to get a chuckle out of the fact that it took me a full two weeks to put the thing together...and I still had some help from Tom in fixing a few audio issues (special thanks for that by the way, dear).
So here it is:

Download Melissa vs. Garageband> here

Episode 42: The Passion of the Ice

2006-04-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

Morty and Stu are having a little easter egg hunt, and you muckafos are invited.

Go suck eggs!

Episode 41: Peach Cobbler Days

2006-04-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna blame the lack of a show last week on Daylight Savings TIme. What a joke that is. Right now I'm reading this crappy little marketing thing we got in the mail from Huggies. It's called the Huggies Cleanteam! Staring me in the face is Freddy the Flamingo, a little pink beaked thing that looks like a cross between a candy cane and a tampon. Apparently, Freddy and his friends are gonna make Laura want to get potty trained. I got news for ya Huggy: it ain't happening. Here are some of Freddy's vitals:

Quote: "Full Clean Ahead!"
Philosophy: All's well that ends well".
Likes: Happy endings. Moisture. Cleanliness.
Vacations in: Bankok

Ok, I made that last one up. Anyway, here's yer show.

Episode 41

Spring Forward Sucks!

episode 40 - murderbunny

2006-03-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

Man, if you like bunnies, stay away from this one!

Sister, message board anomaly, and fellow podcaster joins us to plug her new show dottypolkaface and sing us a special Easter song.
It's "caroling in your underwear" good.

Download your basket of sweet, creamy content here

Episode 39 - WeS <3's AmBeR

2006-03-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

Attention shoppers, we're running a special in our podcasting department tonight....download one show, get 10 sketches and and 17 phone messages free.
Call me right back, okay?

Download Episode 39 here

A Sunday Treat

2006-03-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

How many times have you said to yourself "Man, there just aren't many funky songs about librarians"? I said it to myself for the first time tonight. And since I didn't have any in the ol' itunes, I made my own. DOWNLOAD THE SINGLE! And make sure you push your chair in when you're done.

Episode 38: The Blackhearted Scofflaw

2006-03-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

It's March, and you know what that means:

I don't really know what that means. It may mean nothing, or it may mean something, but that something is virtually insignificant compared to what February meant. And really, who am I to say whether something means something or not? So in the meantime, download Episode 38, ya scurvy cueballs!

lost episode

2006-03-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a project that was just over your head?
Have you ever had a sibling offer to help?
Have you ever gotten anything accomplished while arguing with a sibling about how to do a job that is just over your heads?

Commiserate with me and download a complete waste of time here

Episode 37: The Overhead Announcement Microphone

2006-02-26T20:15:00.000-08:00

A number of us here at Porcuponics would like to caution you against looking directly at people until you are thoroughly checked out. The other wants to see things burn, baby!

This here is the final call. Grab your lady favors and download episode 37 right here.

Episode 36: Scratch Your Manly Scratch!

2006-02-20T20:39:00.000-08:00

Are we not men? Well, one of us isn't. But that won't stop us from proudly displaying truck nuts. Good Lord, this breakroom stinks.

Let your ipod dangle down to Episode 36

Episode 35 - keepin' it clean

2006-02-13T19:38:00.000-08:00

St. Valentine's Day:
It's not so much about showing you care as it is about sitting on the ice, drinking beer. Yeah, that's right.

Download an earful of love here: episode 35- keepin' it clean

Episode 34: Artsyficial Unintelligence

2006-02-09T06:47:00.000-08:00

"I love you, robot", she at last
Replied when several months had passed.
"Your strength and quiet dignity
Have brought a wondrous change in me.
No more do I feel all alone,
And pray you must be flesh and bone.
Deep-set emotions you MUST feel
Within that outer coat of steel!"

-The Robot, by Michael Mack

Download it now, human!

Episode 33: Down Carolina Way

2006-02-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

It was thirty years ago, on a night just like this. I saw the strangest thing I ever seen...

The Legend of the Porcuponic Beast! Download the exclusive first hand account right here in Episode 33: Down Carolina Way

Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!

Episode 32: In the Boardroom

2006-01-29T17:16:00.000-08:00

Our old buddy Bubba stops by to have dinner with us and take us on a secret tour of a media empire. We pretty much all had chicken.

In other news, we've been working on improving the technical aspects of the show and we think we have the awful sound quality from last time figured out now. Also, look forward to some petite new file sizes.

Download Episode 32: In the Boardroom!

episode 31

2006-01-26T05:19:00.000-08:00

Forget the mountain. That is SOOOOO last episode.
This time we broadcast from a tin can.
Marvel at the outstanding audio quality.

episode 31

New mid-season replacement announcement!

2006-01-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

We're not a TV network, but that doesn't mean we can't act like one! Check out this promo for the EXTREME policy action of Public Affaris: STUFFED! on the Porcuponics Television Network!

puppets.mov (3 mb Quicktime)

Episode 30: The Trifecta!

2006-01-15T16:01:00.000-08:00

It's not everyday that podcasters scale a mountain just to give their audience a view from the top, but we did it for you! But wait....could that be the sound of hungry predators? Egads! What have we gotten ourselves into now?

Find out in Porcuponics Episode 30

COMMENT PROBLEM...FIXED!! PORCUPONICS...HAPPY!!!

2006-01-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

I don't know what the crazy heck I did to the comments (actually, I DO know what I did and it was stupid) but they work now so you can all see your pithy musings glittering from the inky, souless void we call our blog.

Wide World of Porcuponics Sports

2006-01-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

My lovely wife braved the wilds of the New Year to bring you this exclusive video footage of dangerous party favor games. Parental discretion should have been advised.

Right click (or Control click if you are cool) and download POPPER RELOAD

episode 29

2006-01-09T13:11:00.000-08:00

We're back on the horse again.
Kind of feels like we're starting over...sounds like it too.
We've got some great stuff coming up soon. Just keep that in mind : )

episode 29

episode 28

2006-01-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

Short but not sweet.
A serious intro to a seriously disgusting show.

episode 28

Happy New Year!

2006-01-03T07:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year from all of us at Porcuponics. New episodes coming very soon!

Controversy information

2005-12-30T07:54:00.000-08:00

Recently it came to our attention that another podcaster, Patrick Melton, had made extremely rude and unprovoked attacks on us and in particular our daughter. We contacted Melton and asked him to remove the offending remarks from his podcast. He has apologized for his actions but refuses to remove the audio. Unfortunately, that episode now shows up when someone does a search for Porcuponics. If you have the misfortune of hearing this verbal attack, please do as we have done and ask him to remove it and let him know that abusive and pornographic comments directed toward children have no place in podcasting. The following is his apology, unedited, along with our initial letter to him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First of all, I want to say that I am sorry for all the trouble and grief that the segment may have caused your or anyone in your family. Over the past seven months, we have been doing our “Bad Podcast of the Week” segment, and we just pick random podcasts and needlessly bash them for their production quality, make fun of their content, etc.

It may not be any comfort, but as you know, I don’t know you or your family. I don’t mean any of the things I said. Furthermore, I would never hurt anyone, including a child, and I surely wouldn’t do any of the things I outlined in that show. It was an off-the-cuff, spontaneous remark. If I could go back and not say it, I would. The fact remains that over 15,000 people have downloaded that show, and it’s out there.

I’ve wanted to go back and edit past episodes before, but I think doing that lacks some integrity. As much as you’d like to believe it, what I said isn’t going to have any impact on your daughter, and she will never even know anything like that was said about her. A month, or a year, or ten years from now, no one will even remember it.

I don’t want to keep dwelling on this either. The more we talk about it, the more time passes before it is forgotten. Please know that all the events that have transpired as a result of this incident have made me think about the things I say and will permanently influence future decisions I make regarding show content.

Apologies to you, your wife, and your daughter for all of this.

Patrick

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patrick-
Not having children, you apparently don't understand the harm you have done in your December 12th episode where you made pornographic comments about my two year old daughter. I appreciate the apology you issued on your latest show and I certainly have respect for your first amendment rights. We don't have an issue with you using our podcast as joke material and even though your attack on my wife was completely uncalled for, we are adults and can defend ourselves accordingly. You stated that if you could go back and do it over, you never would have made the remarks, but the fact remains that the show is still available and you have made no attempt to correct it. I know you meant it as a joke and feel that the response it got was an overreaction on the part of listeners. I was not a part of whatever transpired on Podcast Alley, so I don't know exactly what was said to make you decide to quit after that episode went up, and I am not asking you to stop podcasting now. If the comments had been made in a general sense then I agree with you that you have every right, however tasteless the joke may be, to broadcast them. The issue here though revolves around a very specific instance of verbal abuse directed at my daughter whose name is used on more than one occasion during the excerpts you aired in your program. She is not an anonymous target and your words have very real consequences for her family and friends who have been unfortunate enough to stumble upon them.
I would hope that you would have the decency to remove that segment from the December 12th podcast and ensure that it is no longer available for consumption. You are obviously capable of producing a podcast which appeals to a large following of listeners; a prurient attack on a toddler will not contribute to continuing success. I hope we can resolve this issue without causing further harm to either party.

Porcuponics

Christmas gift

2005-12-23T21:27:00.000-08:00

As a special thank-you to our avid listeners, I did 20 minutes of research and composition late tonight for your Holiday listening pleasure.

click here to claim your free gift

episode 27

2005-12-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Chez Expansive store. We have the perfect gift for that ugly shaved mule of a girlfriend of yours.
Good luck with that.

episode 27

Episode 26

2005-12-19T18:23:00.000-08:00

Once upon a Christmas dreary, while we pondered weak and weary over a bottle of forgotten Jones, suddenly there came a tapping, tapping at our Blogger door. Sibling week, and nothing more.

Quoth the Ponics Episode 26

episode 25

2005-12-13T05:15:00.000-08:00

A fifteen minute ride on the Pygmy's imagination train.
Pygmy show burn-out.
Melissa school burn-out.
Tom's attempt to incorporate holiday magic into the show cut short by Melissa's desire to keep the show under an hour.

episode 25

Episode 24

2005-12-10T06:55:00.000-08:00

We start our sibling week with the infamous Amanda from the comments section. Is she really a relative? Or just a homeless drifter we hired to shovel our driveway? Find out in Episode 24: I WAS OFF YOOHOO FOR LIKE A YEAR!

Episode 24

episode 23

2005-12-05T07:29:00.000-08:00

It's an all girl show today.
The show is half-size
My co-host is pint-sized
and the audio comes in all sizes so consider this your warning.

Not much content, this is really just a way to let Tom hear his little girl in the middle of a crazy day at work.
Surprise, Daddy! We miss you : )

episode 23

episode 22 part 2

2005-12-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

The other cheek...

episode 22 part 2

episode 22 part 1

2005-12-01T22:37:00.000-08:00

A long ass show split into 2 short ass pieces.

episode 22 part 1

episode 21

2005-11-29T05:13:00.000-08:00

Break new podcasting ground with Melissa.
Play a tiny violin for Tom.

episode 21

A Thanksgiving treat for all...

2005-11-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

Live from Porcuponicsville, it's our first annual Thanksgiving day parade!

Episode 20

wasted promos

2005-11-22T21:14:00.000-08:00

no episode number = not a real show

This, technically, is wasted space on our computer where legitimate promos for our show should be.
The promos are in no particular order and in no way reflect our preference for any one show over any other.
We merely enjoy each of the shows featured and will be re-recording more useable audio in the near future.
If, by some miracle, one of the producers or stars of any or all of these shows would like to use any of the "noise pollution" contained herein, be our guest...but I suggest you wait until our antics don't drag you down with us.
Oh, and one more thing...I apologize for the audio levels, they're a little whacked out but we weren't really planning on putting this up as a "show".

Now, take a deep breath, and click on the link below:

wasted promos

episode 19

2005-11-18T20:17:00.000-08:00

Tom's a jarhead with cheese breath.
Melissa smells like a man.
Good thing we don't smell-cast.

episode 19

Episode 18

2005-11-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

Oh man. I was tired last night. I can't remember what we talked about. Somebody listen to the show and give me a summary ok?

Episode 18

An Update...

2005-11-07T11:41:00.000-08:00

We had some technical difficulties recently but they are all straightened out now. Enjoy parts two and three, which work now!

Episode 17 part 3

2005-11-06T20:18:00.000-08:00

The final chapter to our long, drawn-out Halloween show.
Recorded a week ago from a nearly unconscious state and edited in the same frame of mind, possibly our raciest podcast yet.
Lots of underwear references but altogether still not enough to get us that explicit rating.
We'll be back live (or something like it) after my next exam (mid-week).

episode 17 part 3

episode 17 part 2

2005-11-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

our Halloween episode 2 Haiku:

We can't stop talking
So, pregnant with destiny
we ramble some more

Hope you like the show! Just one more of these and we'll let Halloween go for the year : )

episode 17 part 2

episode 17 part 1

2005-10-31T18:41:00.000-08:00

In protest of our local retailers' new policy of treating Halloween as an interruption in the Christmas shopping season, we recorded almost 2 hours of Halloween material on Friday the 28th and will be posting it throughout the week.
Please excuse the abrupt ending on this show as I am very lazy.
Happy Halloween boys and gouls!

episode 17 part 1

Episode 16

2005-10-25T06:28:00.000-07:00

The debut of our new theme song! You'll hum it all day, trust me. Over and over in your head until you think that it might have grown attached to the inside of your brain and then you'll try to use a spoon to get it out but it won't fit in your ear....

Episode 16

Picture Contest Winner

2005-10-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

Sideshow Hermie edged out the pack with this furry and embarrassing photo. Oh, the humanity!

Congrats!

Episode 15

2005-10-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

It's Oktoberfest! The pygmy is back for a guest appearance and we discuss the secret treasures of roofers, the lack of support for nursing programs, and Porcuponics Poetry Moment # 2.

Episode 15

Episode 14

2005-10-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

Oh boy. we've reached (or sunk to) new levels in this so-called "episode". Sam's hates us, Tom loves Orville Redenbacher, and a casual proposal to update the ten commandments turns into a stand up boxing match!

Get all this and more in Episode 14

Breaking News!

2005-10-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

Melissa found her ipod! Not really anything interesting to you guys, but pretty big news around our house. So now I can stop going crazy at work because she has been borrowing mine and I had to listen to the freakin' AC/DC channel all day. -Tom

episode 13...eventually

2005-10-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

Alright, you guys. Tom showed me how to put the shows up on our page so you can actually do something with them...and I've actually performed this act with minimal supervision in the not-to-distant past...but for some reason, anytime I try to post something on my own, something goes wrong! Tonight, I'm getting this error:
Can't connect to local MySQL server through socket '/var/run/mysqld/mysqld.sock' (11)
Apparently there's something wrong with my squid sock.
Hopefully we'll have a posting complete with audio download in the near future. Until then, I'd like to quickly clear up a few things I mis-spoke about in the show you can't hear yet:

#1) We don't have a definative winner for our most embarassing picture contest yet, we merely have a favorite amid the entries we've gotten so far....so keep 'em coming, you guys!

#2) I do not personally endorse, nor does my business, nor do my collegues and close friends, any of the products mentioned in this or any previous podcast.

#3) Upon hearing myself speak of the horror that occurred in our bathroom over the weekend, I immediately remedied the situation.

Thank you for your time,
Melissa : )

UPDATE: Here it is! Episode 13

Picture Contest Update #2

2005-10-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

I believe we have chosen a winner, so we'll probably announce it on the next show, which will most likely be recorded Wednesday evening. Stay tuned!

Episode 12

2005-10-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hey kids! Take steroids! Steroids make you popular and improve your self esteem. Learn how to take steroids for fun and profit in this very special episode of Porcuponics titled Episode 12: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Delts.

Episode 12

*UPDATE* Courtesy of our friend Wombat, here is the greatest hershey squirt web page on the interwebs

Top This!

2005-10-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

Hey listeners! Think you have more embarrassing pictures than these? Bring 'em on!

Picture Contest Update

2005-10-07T06:26:00.000-07:00

We have two great entries so far, and my mohawk pic will be up Friday night when I get home, so keep 'em coming! Also, Zelda is a little jealous about all the attention that Hermie is getting, so she has taken matters into her own hands (um, paws). More on that in a little bit!

episode 11

2005-10-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

Escape from Isle Del Porcupo
random jibberjabber
Tom's Cheesecorn Review!
more random jibberjabber
Melissa's short(er) storytime observations
and again with the jibberjabber
An off the cuff fun picture contest (with prizes, y'all)
flibba da jibba, flibba da jabba
Tom's poetry corner

episode 11

Episode 10

2005-10-02T17:34:00.000-07:00

ONE island broadcast
ONE 10 episode anniversary
ONE friendly little competition
ONE big decision

BE the ONE.

Episode 10

Episode 9

2005-09-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

It's a vacation gone awry in Porcuponiville. You've heard what we talk about before we fall asleep...now listen in on our private thoughts aboard a life raft. Download it now, Muckafos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Episode 9

Porcuponics Episode 8

2005-09-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Melissa's version: On Friday night we recorded this show and it lasted a lot longer than it should have and Tom was sick and he was like "I'm sick" and I was like "Ok, I'll do the show anyway" and so I started recording and I said "Ok it's recording" and so Tom said "That's great dear" and so I started telling everybody about how I was going to make this story my shortest one ever and I told the story but I accidentally put in all the dialog and it ended up being a twelve minute story and I felt really bad and then he told me that I was like a seal and my stories were like an oil spill and I felt kind of bad and I hit him even though he was sick but he deserved it because he is always picking on me for telling these really long stories that just go on and on and never seem to have an end and I don't think there is anything wrong with it because I just like to include details and..."

Tom's version: Episode 8

Episode 7 and a half

2005-09-22T17:40:00.000-07:00

So Mrs. Sneaky gets on here last night and tries to upload a podcast of me snoring! But oh, the joke's on her because I'm the only one who knows how to to do it! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

I'm a fair person. I won't stop her. In fact, I just helped her! But payback is a beach, my dear.....

Episode 7 and a half

Porcuponics Episode 7

2005-09-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Cap'n Tommy's Super Fantastic Seafood Shack Emporium! We're serving up podcasts hot and fresh (but dipped in milk to reduce the fishy smell). Like getting your picture taken? Stop by our Photosalon and get lensed! Remember, no public pooping. Looking for a bargain? You won't find them here.

Get it while it's hot! Episode 7